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Rocafella055
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read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Joun
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: San Luis Obispo
Birthday: 3/18/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: I am a second-year Aerospace Engineer at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. When I'm not in the aero lab, I'm probably listening to music, running, sketching, cooking, or watching a good movie. I enjoy a nice cup of coco in my bed watching the rain bounce off my window, or quite inversely, playing an intense game of basketball out in the beautiful california sun. I have many layers (like an onion, haha shrek) and I challenge you to get to my core. Good luck and God speed.
Expertise: chicken parmesan, grilled salmon, ahi tuna, bacon-wrapped filet mignon... triple integrals, vector fields, magnetic dipoles, circuitry... profile sketching, mix cds... pretending to be an intellectual sipping on some syzurp.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Engineering
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  Rocafella055
Member Since:
7/21/2003
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| I can't control my emotions.
You tell me something I don't like
And i'll need a magical potion
To do me like a therapeutic hike
That'll put my emotions in motion
And hopefully remove this spike
That's pierced my heart like the south's secession
From the Union that we've had
Tell me:
Am I that easily replaceable?
Could you honestly turn the tables
And tell me that you ARE able
To deal this pain that you've dealt me and still be stable?
When I fall to my knees like a cripple and tell you
That I still... do... love you...?
Now let me tell you:
My love for you is never-ending
Don't ever question that and you won't have to go on pretending
That you don't know what the fuck i'm talking about when it's ending
And when I didn't think I can feel worse I start bending
Over To throw you up like last night's mind rendering
Drowning of my brain in a toxic concoction consisting
Of my dying heart gasping for air in your left hand that's squeezing
The blood from ventricle #1 into ventricle #2
As I fall into cardiac arrest and start bleeding for two...
Cuz now night is day and day is night
It's regardless of time of day my chest is swollen yet tight
From the grip that you have on my heart, it's quite a sight...
When you clench it TOO tight, please
be nice...
It swells, and swells, and swells,
Like an orgasm thats been held in really too well,
Like a cold-air balloon sinking in hell
As the walls thin and bubbles into a veil
Of tears and blood that coats my cell
With absolutely no signs of bail.
There is no relief.
Darkness prevails.
"Amazing Grace. How sweet the sound...
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see..."
... that all is over.
And there's nothing you can do about it now cuz I'm sober
After 8 nights of 23 shots it still might take another
8 months and 23 days of not being together
To realize that you are NOT worth crying over...
But maybe you are
And that's what kills me the most is that you ARE
And when you stood there face to face and tried to look hard
As he bent down to give you a kiss and you ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT?
Only 4 days have passed since we ended it.
And you're not gona at least tell me the truth that you hesitated?
It took you too long to realize that you weren't ready for it.
You might as well have taken a gun to my head and pulled the trigger
Better yet you should've taken a knife to my liver
So I can feel every last drop of pain that only you can deliver
As I grip on for dear life, where the FUCK is the bartender?
When he slides me another drink that probably shouldn't enter
A body that has not eaten, slept, or breathed since I've surrendered
Every last drop of vitality, strength and vigor
Let alone any possible chance of us getting back together
Either this very minute or the very last winter
Of my ability to give a fuck, happiness, and anger.
Cuz it hurts to breathe. So I don't.
I can't fall asleep. So I don't.
I can't eat... you wouldn't believe it, but I don't.
Just remember that what we had was special
It's not something that comes around when you're just partial
To just any good looking stranger
Whether his name is Garrett, Eric, or whoever
Are the very machetes that severs
Everything we had, could have had, forever.
Out of respect I took the pain.
I can't even look at another girl it's just not the same.
You did everything you could do to anger me
To see if I still gave a fuck, but come on seriously,
You didn't have to go as far as jealousy
There's nothing lower than that it's heresy
To the memories and love that we've so hastily
Recorded in our history.
It's cold outside. Looks like it's winter. | | |
| That star will illuminate this very spot once more.
But I will not be here.
My former shell will gaze in meditation
Wondering what life will be like in ten thousand years.
But I will not be there.
I am here.
Looking back and thinking what life was like ten thousand years ago.
Wondering what ever happend to the very essense of life.
What's important?
What was important to me?
It was all a matter of perspective
I was told,
But life is not lived that way.
Life was not lived that way.
What if I had spat?
Scratched, scraped, scrapped?
Had I left a mark at that very spot of starry illuminization...
But I am here.
Stagnant.
All I can do is reminisce
and wish...
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In an attempt to revive my deteriorating writing skills, I
have pledged to return to the world of xanga—my have I missed it. Yes of
course, I could have made a cognizant effort sometime in the last year and a
half of my absence to be… not absent… but it was only until this past week when
writing a very important e-mail that I found myself struggling over some of the
most basic functions of writing. Therefore, I will dedicate at least an hour a
week to update the world of the happenings of Joun-Kim-Land. Maybe I can even motivate
a former hardcore xanger to dust off his/her digital notepad and imaginary
pencil and delve back into the elusive dimension that is xanga.
More to come…
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| it has been too long...
well apparently this is the rainiest SLO winter (yes roundeye, i said SLO) in a while, and although the beautiful, sun-filled days are limited, it certainly does help me appreciate the clear blue skies, that relaxing feeling of sun on the back of your neck , and of course the bikini clad women that tan in front of the dorms... it's amazing how uplifting it can be to take time aside to really appreciate God's fine craftsmanship.
speaking of weather, two things are beached to the forefront of my mind--bad news: weather.com predicts that it's going to rain for the entire next week! good news: i'll get as much sun i can handle this summer, taking courses, enjoying the former, and fulfilling my resident advisor duties... yes, i'm going to be an RA for the summer. hopefully i'll get some time to visit folsom and all you guys down south... hopefully... should be interesting.
for those of you that aren't up to date--i was part of the Open House committee for 2004-2005, playing the role as Facilities and Operations co-director (you know it!)--pretty much logistics--for the entire weekend. open house is basically like preview day for berkeley--we open up the campus to the public, have presentations from each college, introduce the admitted students to campus life, and present the 300+ clubs on campus through a Thursday-Night/Farmer's market atmosphere, complete with the annual tri-tip cook offs, Poly Royal Parade, tractor pull, and rodeo--an event that welcomed 11,000+ guests this year, an event coordinated and organized by a mere 14 student volunteers... and yes i'm bragging--OH05 was one of the most fluid, helpful, and efficient group i've ever worked with, very rewarding experience.
on the note of volunteering, i'm also training to be a Week of Welcome (WoW) leader--much like link crew, but i get to introduce the incoming freshmen to the entire SLO community as well as the campus.... should be very interesting!
speaking on academics, i'm still going strong on my reach to the top: a BS in Aerospace Engineering with a double minor in Business Administration and International Relations--if you want to try to talk me out of it, please go ahead and try--otherwise, i should be out of here in five years--if i take summer school every year and i average 14 units a quarter... then hopefully Boeing will pick me up and help pay for my Masters either at Stanford, University of Michigan Ann Arbor, or Georgia Tech... we'll see!
well i should stop procrastinating and get back to some physics--get back on track to that degree... i hope everybody's doing well and enjoying college life. i miss you all...
... but i still love calpoly : )
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| My schedule starting January 3rd, 2005:
Your current schedule is:
| Status |
Course |
Type |
Units |
Call# |
Title |
Instructor |
Day/Time |
Term Beg |
Term End |
Bldg/Rm |
Grade Type |
| Enrolled |
PHYS-X141-51 |
LEC |
4 |
16200 |
GENERAL PHYSICS |
Bensky T |
MWF
0810AM-0920AM
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01/03/2005 |
03/11/2005 |
053-0201 |
Normal |
| Enrolled |
MATH-0142-07 |
LEC |
4 |
14352 |
CALCULUS II |
Riley K |
MTRF
1010AM-1100AM
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01/03/2005 |
03/11/2005 |
038-0148 |
Normal |
| Enrolled |
KINE-0250-01 |
LEC |
4 |
14085 |
HEALTHY LIVING |
Jankovitz K |
TR
1210PM-0200PM
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01/03/2005 |
03/11/2005 |
003-0213 |
Normal |
| Enrolled |
IME-0130-02 |
LB1 |
0 |
13867 |
LOWER DIVISION LAB |
Strahl R |
T
0610PM-0900PM
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01/03/2005 |
03/11/2005 |
036-0106 |
Non-graded |
| Enrolled |
IME-0130-01 |
LEC |
2 |
13866 |
TECHNICAL FOUNDATIONS |
Strahl R |
M
0410PM-0500PM
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01/03/2005 |
03/11/2005 |
005-0225 |
CR/NC |
| Enrolled |
HIST-0207-01 |
LEC |
4 |
13751 |
FREEDOM/EQUALITY IN AMER HISTORY |
Barnes T |
MTWR
0710AM-0800AM
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01/03/2005 |
03/11/2005 |
010-0231 |
Normal |
You are enrolled in 18 unit(s).
Hopefully all goes well and I survive the workload... pray for me... please... | | |
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in the end:
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the warmth (clip)
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faint:
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aqueous transmission:
http://www.sumfun1.com/rock%20wavs/incubusaqueoustransmission.wav
papercut:
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http://pwp.netcabo.pt/.../Concerto%20Linkin%20Park/ IMAG0053.JPG
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http://www.alleyezonme.net/multimedia/midis/download.php?id=meagainsttheworld
http://www.wallpaper.net.au/wallpaper/landscapes/Blue%20Sunset%20-%201024x768.jpg
http://www.worldstart.com/wallpaperjpg/1ws-%20Beach%20at%20Sunset.jpg
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